Kids, Family and What Not

No I am not someone's assistant. I am a pretty accomplished hardworking mid level professional. I worked my ass off to get here... where ever in the fresh sparkling hell here may be...I have lived my entire life focused on my progression as a person. This never included a husband and kids. Just me, and now at 31 I am still focused on just me. This worries my mom shitless but I dont quite know how to explain to her that I will know when the time is right because it is all that I will have on my mind. Like right now all I have on my mind is being on my game professionally... in another state. I cant wrap my mind around anyone or anything slowing this focus down. God still wakes me at 3 in the morning, pouring ideas into my head. And I, single and childless, have the energy and the time to react to those ideas anywhere and anytime I please. At 31 looking like a mid to late 20 something I still feel as if time is on my side. I dont hear my biological clock ticking all that loudly- its pretty faint honestly. And there are days when I dont even know if I want to bring kids into this domicile of the damned and deranged but there are others when I do but I want to have things in place when I do. I want know for a fact that kids are my #1 priority. Right now I cant say that. I can say that the urge to be married to some fabulous polyglot, world traveling chef with dimples is heavily on the agenda but only if he understands that I am on a mission and I need him to be on my team. That and when I do decide I am at cruising altitude in my life, ready to start a family, that doesnt mean that the life we have goes out of the window. Strap baby in and keep it moving; kids can travel and learn new languages too. But thats the future. This is the present and right now its still just about me. I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone who wants to be loved and that when you're ready the scales will fall away from your emotional eyes and love will be staring right at you. I do want to be loved and give love in return but only when I can do it 100. I cant right now. I am still figuring out how to love me and do it 100. I suppose some out there will say that you will never reach that utopian plateau, that you just close your eyes and dive in. I not like everyone. I strongly adhere to everything in its own time, everything in its right place and with this its no different. The running joke in my family is that on my 40th birthday I will get married at some undisclosed location because I just woke up and decided thats what I wanted to do. I am pretty sure it will happen before my 40th birthday. I am thinking within a year or 2. But right now I am married to the idea of a better me and giving birth to my own personal joy. I fret not.