"... in life we wont do it alone, because we cant, we're not supposed to..." -me biting John Mayer
Most of the week when my world finds those random moments of slowness or rams head first into those obstensible roadbloack known as 'I dont really care', I find myself multitasking to pass the time. Im usually found chatting on Google with my friend, business partner, and unbeknownst to her, cultural observationist, while surfing the web for provocative articles that highlight the ingenuity of human spirit and the many ways it leaps into action. Usually the conversation and the article scavenging go hand in hand, leading to debate like chats on issues that range anywhere from childhood obesity (that was yesterday and it was quite fascinating) to developing innovative but simple approaches to making life brighter... including healthy cooking (which by the way would serve as one key solution to the former issue). Most time we crack jokes that really do make us LOL, although I havent quite figured out how to LMAO. No matter the topic of discussion, its always a mind exercise that helps me better understand human behavior. I always leave the chats and article scaveneging thinking there are so many complexities to human nature, its hard to ever really know someone but at the same time it so very easy to draw conclusions based one what we do know. Now what I mean by that is in a world where 40+ years into our lifespan we are still trying to find our true selves its damn near inmpossible to figure someone else out. We take stabs at shadows hoping for a hit. As much as I love my friend, with each conversation, I learn something new about her, and in turn about myself. Most times this leads me to learn a lesson from one conversation and apply new altered principals in the next conversation. Yesterday I adapted to the philosophy of agreeing to disagree only to learn that we werent really disagreeing at all, just using different paths to get to the same conclusion. And that leads to the second part of my explanation - huamn beings are more alike than we are different. So one should be able to easily surmise what the outcomes will be. I knew before the conversation ended that basically we would arrive at the same point- childhood obsesity is bad and we need to take steps to fix it. But we were jocking for our positions to heard. I was screaming BETTER OVERALL POLICY and she was shouting REAL TIME SOLUTIONS... cant be successful if the two dont work together, right? At the end of the day all human beings want to be acknowledged and told that someone somewhere understand them. It may benefit us all to start conversations with an agreement to listen, hear, and try to understand one another. I think that would be a giant leap in human interaction and collaboration. Think about it for a second. Look at the current economic crisis. At the end of the day, all agree that something must be done about the debt, namely the debt ceiling must be raised or we will all be using recycled fecal matter for meat. Its in our human nature to want to avoid catastrophe and fecal filet mignon, but much like my friend and I, the Republicans and Democrats are jocking to have their position heard, acknowledged and understood... key word being "understood". For all intents and purposes, "understood' is interchangable with 'accepted'. When people understand one another, we feel as if we belong- sharing of that like mind. And dare I say if someone understands us, it removes a the onus of our need to understand ourselves. For example, if by some chance of fate Obama decided to go along with all of the Republican demands, they wont have to further explain and convince the American public of their ideological stance on government spending (which by all accounts is a hybrid, drug resistant strain of voodoo economics bolstered by Reaganomics patriotism). The commander in chief accepted it, so you must too. Its a battle of wills- my way or no way... BUT, its not the "way" that we should be honing in on... the way, should be fluid, just like people should be (hence give up that quest to find yourself and rather give yourself permission to learn yourself). We should be focused on the end game. I realise as I am typing this that the economic crisis may not be the best example to explain this dichotomy of human communication and human acceptance, but at the heart of it all it really is about just that... and of course a power struggle rooted in false ideology, racism, capitalism, enhanced class stratification, etc, etc, etc... The King and I... which by the way is another example of what I am talking about... if I give myself permission to first get to know you (getting to know you... getting to know all about you... getting to like you, hoping you like me too...) and in the learn more about myself- we build a bridge to better collaboration to reach that shared outcome. I know that this sounds a little idealistic but Ive seen it work time and time again, and I have seen what happens when we dont attempt to do this first. Back to my friend and I- the conversation shifted and there was a very powerful moment- for me at least- when I said, "Im not disagreeing with you at all"... There was a lingering pause and then we both signed off. For me in that moment, I was telling her "I accept, acknowledge, and understand what you are saying." Do I think that someone will step in this crisis and do that- they already have. President Obama, has been more flexible that Gumby- to a fault, of course, and even Senator McConnell, in his own little way tried to adapt this posturing. The King and I wouldnt be as endearing if King Mongkut and Mistress Leonowens hadnt agreed to accept one another for who they were within the confines of their own culture, using similarities to work together in a time of need. That human spirit that bears ingenious ideas also has the power to break down walls that keep us from moving forward together...
A beautiful example came from today's NYT: Out of Poverty Family Style
I have spent most of this blog rambling about myself and my journey to reach some fairytale destination in life. This entry will mark a shift in subject matter. One thing thaat I have found time and time again no matter what I was attempting to do, the art of collaboration has captivated me... my ability to collaborate with others, others collaborating together, the co mingling of ideas and subject matter in an attempt to collaborate... its an art form. Most of us think that we have it but we tend to have a very narrow view of it. Everyday we collaborate. I am collaborating right now with my keyboard, and Divine inspiration. I plan to take the rest of my tenure as a writer to highlight, emphasize, and encourage healthy collaboration as a way of being. Why because as a spirit in a material world, its one of the most powerful ways that I can remember and acknowledge a higher power in life. Something is trying to pull us together, and collaboration is a great avenue to get us there.
